Ever had one of those ‘ah-ha’ moments? For me, it typically comes the day after a heavy night of cocktails and bullshit. And most of the time, they are “wow, you really shouldn’t have done that, drank that, or hit that”. And yet my latest ‘ah ha’ moment came after a realization that I was no longer having fun making myself moan or getting emotionally attached to anything that gave a little bit of consistent ass. (Oh, how I miss you sexytime on a regular basis!)
It’s definitely time to change the game!
My life has DRAMATICALLY changed in the past couple of years and I figured it’s about time I’d have some real flippin’ fun with the fact that I’m a sassy, classy, and assy girl with a big personality to match. (Okay, I know that classy is definitely a stretch when it comes to this blogger… but hey, bite me! It’s my damn blog and I’ll label myself however the hell I want.)
I’m going to date without the female mentality that any of these could be more than just a little fun on a Friday night (or Tuesday, Thursday, or any day that I don’t have anything better to do). I’ll attempt to try every dating method out there to snag a date or a good time… and to not be that same girl who has been in a steady relationship since I was 15. This girl is out doing whatever necessary for your reading pleasure… you are in for the shit show that is my life.
METHODS to be ATTEMPTED:
- Online Dating (match.com profile created)
- Wingman Hookup
- Friend Grenade
- Sporting Activity
- Blind Date
- Friend Hookup
- Drunken Hookup
- Speed Dating
- Booty Call (including Out of State preferably)
- One Night Stand
- Out of my League
RULES (other rules to be added at a later date)
- Date as much as humanly possible
- Accept all date invitations (yet, there are few exceptions for declination of a date)Have or will slip me a roofy… (Date rape is not rad, man!)
-Creepy McCreeperson has invited me on a date to a dark place (or any place in general)
-He dances at Icabods while making the Zoolander faces at all the ladies (even though peterpan is telling me that he’s definitely date worthy. And yep, she’s an asshole)
-A proud owner of Summer Teeth.
-Anyone who has slept with CaptainClap.
-He drives any of the below listed vehicles: White El Camino (or really any color),Cargo Van with blacked out windows (I really have no worries though, these guys typically don’t prey on anyone over seven years old…), orAny import vehicle with suicide doors (really?!? Who does that?!? DOUCHE!) - Two different personality qualities should be chosen before the date randomly.
- (almost) Anyone is fair game.
- Every date must be blogged about within 24 hours of said date.
- A second date is only allowed on a major vote by my awesome readers.
So, as a promise to you, I’m taking the personal challenge to date like it’s my damn job and blog about the shenanigans that seems to be my life. For you, I vow to prove a complete average (in every way) 26 year old female can attempt the impossible… to date like a dude.
Enjoy the ride and with any luck it’ll be a bumpy one (if you know what I’m sayin’ [hint, hint, wink, wink])…
So let’s hear three cheers to being face down, ass up and a good laugh for all after a shit date…
Preparing for the worse,
Kissy Faced Booty Shaker
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